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More FAQ's from the GOP [parody]

Reform Voter Project has a few more suggested FAQ's for the Republicans:

Q: How can I be assured that the President knows Iím giving?

A: First of all, give the maximum of $2,000. Then become a Ranger (pledge to raise $200,000) or a Pioneer (pledge to raise $100,000). Also consider getting your spouse and your children to donate, especially if you have the same last name. That makes it easier.

Q: Can I write something in the memo line on the check to indicate what I want in return?

A: Please do not write bill numbers, or the number for favorable executive orders, or (if you raise a lot) your preferred ambassadorial posting in the memo line on your check. Communicate that information verbally. Please put your tracking number or the tracking number of the person who asked you for money so we can make sure a Ranger is a Ranger and a Pioneer is a Pioneer.

Q: Will you provide security outside the fundraiser so I donít have to walk past the protestors?

A: Free speech is an essential part of the democratic process. We will ensure that those who want to speak out have a place to do itÖ far, far away. Please be assured, with the new tools available to Attorney General John Ashcroft through the Patriot Act, we will know who these free-speaking Americans are. And what they had for lunch.

Thanks to Brenda Wright for the link.

7 October: I corrected the title to make it clear that this is a parody and not actually from the Republican Party.